Crooty

Bye-bye Flocon . You were the most beautiful rabbit.
We love you very very much, we're going to miss you.

Music, architecture, writing, web and 3D design, illustration, photography, acting, cooking...

I've come to realize that even though I've been trying, throughout my entire life, to be creative, I actually have no talent whatsoever. Worse, I think I'm actually boring people with my attempts, and my hunger for recognition may even pass as pretension. I do not say I suck at everything: what I do is simply mediocre, plain, passable.

Wait! Before you grab your keyboard to protest: it's actually OK. I've been thinking about this for a few months now and I'm totally at peace with the idea. It even feels like a burden has been lifted off my shoulders, to tell you the truth.

Now I just need to focus on what I actually know how to do, ie something that doesn't involve creativity and/or subjective judgment: doing my job, reading, listening to music, watching TV, hiking, travelling, playing games, eating, sleeping... and readjust my mind and stop wanting to impress people with what I do. And by people of course I mean other than family and friends who have always been tactful enough to encourage me... correction: have always insisted  I am creative, even though I've always denied it. And silly me, I've been struggling to prove them right all along... my pathetic joining of about 30 groups here on dA being an perfect example. I am not an artist. Period. Aaaaaaaah.

This doesn't mean I'll stop posting stuff here on dA. It'll be just sharing pictures of nice places, passages of good books, lyrics of moving songs...
And I'll definitely stop craving for s like I used to.

Merry Christmas and Happy New Year guys!

Looking back at this year, I'd say it was both full and empty. I remember working a lot, travelling to beautiful places, going to great gigs, but also wasting too much time on FB and almost not drawing at all.

My wishes for 2010? More inspiration, and no more stress migraines. And NZ next winter (yeah because this year we decided to try a new destination for a change: we're flying to Guadeloupe next week).

Oh and I just created a Robin Hobb group. Feel free to join and submit your illustrations!

The new job is fine. Much closer to home. Now all I need is inspiration (i.e. read something more inspiring than that old Eddings stuff — which is ooookay, just not extremely inspiring).